Since we relieved our 5 years old from school, I’ve been continuously educate myself about giftedness. I devoured loads of information night and day; I was up late looking up articles and printed them out to be read during the day whenever I can find time. I read and read hoping to reach epiphany or find some answer about the best way to handle this delicate matter. There are many information available regarding characteristics or traits of the gifted to help parents determine whether their child is one and understand the difficulties that comes with raising one. I came to term that ours is definitely gifted. I live with it and don’t need any more reminder of what kind of difficulty it involves.
I’m in search of the next step on how to foster the strengths and improve the weaknesses. It seems that all I could find was sources to make us understand and accept it. If anything ever come close is a guide for us to make sure their surroundings is best suit their learning styles or setting that won’t cause stress which lead to meltdown. I can’t take that for the answer. I won’t live forever to watch that everything will be fine or put a stop on every slightest sign of the road lead to breakdown. Life is full of ups and downs. There are good and bad people/ situation in every corner. I started to wonder if that is the case….there is no solution. The reason they want us to deeply understand the conditions and rearrange world around them is because that’s all we could ever do. It will not ever be normal.
There is this one article that paint vivid picture by comparing how a parent’s job is just to make sure the house is safe for toddler to learn to walk without hurting themselves from falling to how we should do just that for our gifted. It made me feel good for couple of day. Then it got to me that it’s in our instinct that we know how to walk and will eventually get there. Do the gifted have it in them to be able to grow out of their social and emotional issues, to cope with their sensory or over excitability traits, and to manage stress and anxiety by themselves? I joined several parents of the gifted network forums and found that it’s a norm for the gifted kids to still have those problems in their teens. It’s save to conclude that the answer is no, they won’t just better at those by us just watching over and prepare safe place to fall.
I consulted with child psychologist that we’re seeing. Her answer made me feel good but not really give anything solid. I asked on how to re-enter him into those classes that he blocked of like piano or soccer. She asked me to show him advantage of those classes and listen to him. If he still doesn’t want then don’t have to go back for it. She said every problem have solution which will prevail someday when the right time comes. She asked me to treat every problem as though he’s a regular kid. Treat it as it come. For example, if I find his emotional issue a problem then we look into that. To be honest, since he’s back home with us the stress factors are no longer there so he’s back to his lovely self with no social or emotional problems. This doesn’t mean that he’s better. I’m sure a week back in any real social setting he will retreat back to dreadful person again. Sign…
I’m back to square one, lost and alone. For the past couple of week, I stop everything; no more reading, no more participating or interacting with any forum, not even thinking about it. I want to clear my head and find my footing. We’ve done a great job and been through so much the past five years without all these information or identification. I’m acknowledging its existent but since it comes to no value to me or him I will just leave it there like one of those certificate on the wall. I have enough of hearing confirmations over and over that their kids has this and that problem too. There is no end to it, no one has a cure. Yes, I’m frustrated. I’m angry that after all the month I’ve invested in this quest I came up empty. It’s ridiculous. I gave it a time for myself to deschool along side my son. I just need to be strong and believe in myself that I can do this and I know the answer. After all, whether your child is gifted or not parenting is a lifetime role for everyone indifferent.